“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.” — Wayne Dyer, Teacher, Author, Speaker
This is a really interesting concept. I’m trying to figure out how best to apply the notion of personal responsibility with the ideas I’m learning in the book I’m currently reading, Learned Optimism. The studies cited in that book show that optimists are in general the most successful people in any field of endeavor, are healthier and at less risk of depression.
One of the characteristics of optimists is the tendency to see “bad” events as due to external causes, temporary and specific. On the other hand, pessimists see those same types of events as being their fault, permanent and pervasive. These findings are back by decades of research into the subject. How can we reconcile these two view points? If I see myself as responsible, as a co-creator of my universe how do I maintain a positive attitude when things go wrong? How do I avoid depression?